A New Era

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. I’m finally starting to think about it as I’ve had so much other stuff to worry and plan for recently. My stomach is still complaining a little at having a camera poked through it.

So I’m going to reach my quarter century. When I was a teenager I honestly thought at times that I wouldn’t make it to my twenties. I’m still here and I count that as success.

I’m going for dinner and cocktails tonight and am making special cheese and pasta with my sister tomorrow. It may not feel like I have much to celebrate. This year did not go as I expected and the journey has been tough.

What have I really achieved?

Well I’m nearly done with my second degree. That is an immense positive.

I have made a beautiful home for myself in Loughborough (okay, so I got a lot of help with this one!). I love almost everything about it. It is my happy place. And I get to grow herbs on my balcony.

The nebulous condition ‘Irritable Bowel Syndrome’ that I have been labelled with may actually have room for improvement. It turns out I also have gastritis and a hernia. Some of that may be fixable and I am taking that as a positive.

I am tackling the complete block I get when I get stressed. My psychiatric medication has been identified as not helping me and is not being changed to something my body seems to tolerate better.

I have also opened up my life on this blog. Everybody wants to project themselves on the internet as the best they are. It’s a lot easier to share the happy times with people. What I see in the world though is that not enough people understand the reality of mental illness and this causes the stigma many people experience. My blog may be small but it’s out there. Hopefully it can make people suffering realise that they are not alone and maybe make others be less afraid of the mentally strange. Thank you to everyone who has told me I am brave.

I have taken a lot of hits this year and I have not only survived it but I am moving forward. So I may not be where I imagined I could be at this age. What I do know though is that I have battled a lot of demons this year and I’m still walking tall. Here’s to looking forward! It will be a fight, and yet I truly believe now that it’s one I can win.

On what used to be the riverbed of the Turia river through Valencia. The impossible can be done.